Sally

Life will last longer if we stop trying to maximise it. I'm pretty tired of those self-help, self-motivational, self-waste-of-time posters that try to tell you a very linear way of living. Therefore, please don't see this as one of those. Life, from what I can observe, is abundant in its variety, its infinite possibilities and potential. Don't limit yourself by not limiting yourself! Be lazy! It's a very creative activity, because the world is concerned with doing things, therefore, doing nothing is quite original.

- Spend that 10 hours in a row playing video games that you've always wanted to.

- Don't let a sunny day outside stop you from eating corn chips from a bowl (resting on your stomach) whilst watching the morning show.

- When your mind begins to wander, considering various things it could be doing, stop yourself.

- Impulse is the beginning of invention, innovation and happiness. Do something, or more importantly, don't do something, simply because you thought of it. Jackass, for instance, is a prime example of just doing things that are new and interesting. I wouldn't recommend things quite so likely to kill you, however.

- Don't run a real marathon, run a movie marathon! The reason humanity spends so much time consuming media is because there is so much to consume. A plethora of knowledge, no matter how trivial, to be absorbed. Consuming media, especially TV, is essentially a way of keeping tabs on the rest of humanity, like a series of billions of siblings, seeing how they're all doing. It's nice.

- Film a documentary on the life cycle of chewing gum stuck to the pavement (it probably won't doesn't do much, but film it anyway!) or don't, and simply comment on the guy that posts his 'lifecycle' of chewing gum film, saying: 'I thought about doing that, but then I played marbles with stale grapes instead'.

- Laziness is golden. Any negative connotations associated with the word are merely invented by people that haven't yet appreciated it.

- I'm going to put off writing the rest of this wonderfully fun post until I've done a few other things that have occured to me, brb

back,

- Fly a kite, in your mind, then build a fort out of empty (or full) cereal boxes. Cereal is awesome, it should be eaten for every meal if desired, the term 'breakfast cereal' is cereal racism.

- Play Jenga, and by play I mean throw the blocks at the nearest lamp, awarding points for chips in the enamel and all out destruction.

- We're in Australia, jobs are not hard to find, we resisted the Financial crisis quite well: if you don't like your job, quit.

- Don't feel pressure to be creative, be logical instead, get a degree in accounting then ignore it and work in a pet shop. Then quit and live off the dole.

- Start many things you have no intention of finishing.

- Subscribe to 100 online newsletters, take the first word from the subject line of each of their emails and do nothing with them.

- Work on a skill, like folding paper planes, it's very rewarding. Studies have shown that A4 paper is the most effective for paper planes.

- WHATEVER OCCURS TO YOU AT THE TIME, IS THE BEST THING TO DO, REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT IS. Don't feel guilty, it doesn't achieve much, it achieves something, but not much.

- Stop reading this post and throw milk out of an open window.

- Start reading this post again, with milk all over your face from a retaliatory neighbour.

- Make a catapult out of toilet rolls. Scratch that, sounds much too hard, just pretend you did when your friends ask you what you did that day. It'll make you sound like a very interesting person.

- Find an old super soaker and shoot it into the air, or at your face, or at a wall.

- SMS your friend; 'I agree' and see what they do.

- Call work and tell them you're sick. Then try to construct a scenario in which you will become actually sick for a few more days, extending your fun. Eating too much ice cream, for example, or kissing your girl friend who has the flu. She's hot, after all.

- If you don't have time for all these transcendent endeavours because you're too busy with work etc, feel free to enjoy these next few 'job-focussed' dot points.

- The waste paper basket is the office's most versatile game-creating tool. Basketball, golf, soccer, rugby, anything can be played with this ingenious implement. When questioned about your activities, say you're emptying the garbage.

- Pretend you're in the first Matrix film, the office building scene, in which the agents are looking for Neo by and Morphius is talking to him on the phone. Aka, run in a crouched position to a window facing office, but don't step out onto the ledge, that would be stupid.

- Attempt to recreate that ad for tic tacs where the girl bounces them against the cubicle wall, then email me as to whether it's actually possible.

- Eat a banana... from the office kitchen, it may give you food poisoning because, lets face it, communal kitchens rarely contain edible food. However, the food poisoning would enable you to take time off work and begin addressing this list of activities.

- Take a book to work and read it instead of working. When asked, say that it's research, who's going to argue with a person reading a book? It's like wearing glasses; you're just always going to be the smarter looking person.

- If you catch public transport, get off at the stop of someone wearing a suit, follow them into their building, and pretend that you work there for the day. Bonus points if you manage to get paid for that day's work.

- This is sounding a lot like a scavenger hunt; searching for the tastiest morsels of life.

> But, most importantly, once you've read this, DON'T do anything it suggests. It's a state of mind that makes these things possible: 'not wanting to do them'. Just understand what they're trying to say and you're done.